1. My uncle once :
On advice of council, I'm going to have to skip this question.
2. Never in my life :
Will I be a puppet to "the man".
3. When I was seventeen :
"I learned the truth..."
4. High School was :
A necessary evil.
5. I will never forget :
Well...I'm sure there must be something...
6. I once met :
Tiger Woods when he was 4 yrs old and his dad toured him around country clubs.
7. There’s this girl I know who :
...once at band camp...
8. Once, at a bar :
I met a lesbian who used to be a homosexual man. It's true...
9. By noon, I’m usually :
Thinking I should probably think about getting out of bed.
10. Last night :
I forgot all about doing this meme.
11. If only I had :
12. Next time I go to gym/church :
13. Susan Boyle :
Sadly, probably the definition of 15 mins of fame.
14. What worries me most :
What? Me? Worry?
15. When I turn my head left, I see :
16. When I turn my head right, I see :
17. You know I’m lying when :
18. What I miss most about the eighties :
My neon green jacket with the giant shoulder pads. Oh, yeah!
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be :
20. By this time next year :
I will be independently wealthy beyond belief!
21. A better name for me would be :
Well, that depends on who you ask...
22. I have a hard time understanding :
Anything I don't care about.
23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll :
Start my own gang.
24. You know I like you if :
I speak to you.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be :
Seriously, who would ever give me an award?
26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock :
I wonder what ever happened to the '60's and '70's.
27. Take my advice, never :
Neither a borrower nor a lender be, Do not forget: Stay out of debt; Think twice, and take this good advice from me, Guard that old solvency. There’s just one other thing you ought to do. To thine own self be true.
28. My ideal breakfast is :
My dad's cast-iron skillet fried potatoes!
29. A song I love, but do not own is :
At This Moment by Billy Vera and the Beaters
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest :
You take a book.
31. My favorite Beatle is :
32. Why won’t people :
Just do what I tell them to do?
33. If you spend the night at my house :
I would have to, first, lock up the cutlery.
34. I’d stop my wedding for :
One thin dime.
35. The world could do without :
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than :
Well...just about ANYTHING!!! Who doesn't want to lick the belly of a cockroach?
37. My favorite blonde is :
My own darn self.
38: Paper clips are more useful than :
39. If I do anything well, it’s :
Probably done wrong.
40. And by the way :
I think that's plenty...
The Manual of Detection by Jedediah Berry
5 years ago